Unreasonable Demands

2020 won.

Any way you want to look at it, 2020 beat us. 

This isn't a groan about who's right and who's wrong, about the Radical Left or the seemingly evil Republicans. It's just a statement of fact. This past year was the final dumbfounded year that showed us everything we hate about ourselves. 

Paralyzed in angst over a Benedict XIII President for four years, having been voted out and simply not conceding, is the perfect irony of all sin. We elected this person knowing full well the immediate and unnecessary harm he would bequeath his new real estate, doomed opportunity, The United States of America.

Once again, our country was put face to face with an old foe that has never been fully recognized nor reconciled. The wholly inhuman killings of young black people by white police or citizens and the eventual pardon and getting off scot free outcome of those killings put us square in the middle of the room, where there isn't a "Middle of the Room", with no doors or windows, face to face with blatant racism. It's right there in front of us. Protests for equality and still more bodies piled up.  Windows broken and buildings burned in downtown Portland and the deployment of the National Guard, all while California and Australia are reduced to fulminating ashes. 

Another election cycle thrown into disarray. Constant mud-slinging and purposeful derailment. Dis-information, outright lies and conspicuous, in your face! chauvinism and sickly nihilism. A reaction to an organism that doesn't know how to advance, so it cowards into fear and civil unrest is created out of its frustration.

Social Media is finally no longer the angel baby of our blissful hallucination into a more perfect world, it is the obscene teenager with no rules or guides and drives a criminal mentality that leads to a seize on our Nation’s capital and provides a haven for false realities and equally demented readings of our fellow man.

So....they delete them. That's it.

Such punishment. They're probably terrified. What we saw in D.C. were the Dobermans in Animal Farm- in training for an eventual burning of our own island.

He sat and watched. Like a Lord to his Flies. 

All of this while every corner of the world is in Hyper Nation mode. Or hibernation- seeing how none of us can even walk the streets without the possibility of catching an increasingly diversified and mutating, airborne virus that first takes your mouth and nose away and then tells your body to go ahead and eat itself. Alive!

Everything culminated into the perfect pistol that we pointed straight at our temples. We are grossly unprepared for cyber threats, be it from Russia or some two -bit hack in his basement farting around with Wall Street's economic model. Great.

The threat is among us and it isn't the Government, it is within Us. As people. When Edward R. Murrow went head to head with then Junior Senator from Wisconsin, Joe McCarthy, the quote echos true to this day and time. "The fault dear Brutus, is not within the stars, but within ourselves."

May, 2020

These times are crueler than cruel knew it could be.

Over 100,000 are dead. Citiess burning. Police brutality. Economy in a free fall.

Never in my life could I ever fathom this happening.

Everything about us, what we are, how we do things in our day to day, what we do in our day to day...gone. For now, anyway. My last day of work was Friday March 13th. It was raining buckets out there and there was a full crew on the floor with virtually nothing to do. All events canceled, one of the last ones was Biogen, I had to Strike that show. That was earlier in the month. I went straight to the grocery store and stocked up on food and hand sanitizer, went home and sulked. "All of this is insane" I thought to myslef. 

I consider myself lucky. The friends I have, the ones who've come down with Corona-19 are either recovering or have only had mild symptoms. To this date, my family and close friends remain healthy and vibrant, a few of them are in their 80's. Lucky me.

My housemate left for Mexico in late January. I've had the whole apartment to call my own and it wasn't long before I transformed my abode into a personal Yoga retreat. Hammock out, wood burning stove lit as I stretched out in the main room.  It's been this routine since then. 

6am Awake, coffee & Meditation

7- light breakfast

8- some stretching

9- full yoga flow 

10:30- shower and breakfast

11- emails, news,

12 lunch

1pm- Begin *Projects.

*Projects being a table that I started many years ago that was slowly falling into neglect. Nuh-uh-uh. Polished up the twisted, metal legs that I welded on and primed it then painted it a bbq black. Then sanded the wood bare and began to seal it up with clear varnish and now she's as smoothe as the bonnet on a Porsche. 

Bedroom closet totally cleaned out and vacuumed. Damn! There's that wool glove I lost so many years ago, now half eaten by moths! God rid of that. Apartment has never been cleaner. That includes the Stove, Oven, Refrigerator, floors. Everything. 

Also, my online artist profile has been nearly completed.

Still cranking away on the 'Live at the Midway' documentary, although the times dictate how that is rolling out. 

I have inherited a 3 speed English Raleigh Sport bicycle that I've been restoring, seeing how nobody claimed it.  

3pm- meditate for 10 minutes.

3:30-read

4:30 Feed the cat

5:30 get dinner started

6- PBS Newshour

7- I open up my lounge window and play the flute to anyone who will listen for 5 minutes.

(A salute to the first respnders and caretakers of the sick during this awful, AWFUL time.)

8- a little guitar playing

9 - Maddow

10- read in Bed until I fall asleep.

That's it.

That's how the day rolls out every day for me. It is all now one big blurr. The TV is off during the day after that initial check in with Morning Joe and the BBC until Maddow which I'm pretty proud of. Also, my social media is at an all time low, especially after reading the book 'Antisocial' my David Marantz. By the end of the summer my Facebook profile will be deleted. Slowly leading up to it. (Have been for quite a while, actually). 

Let me say this. I miss you. I miss seeing you around. I miss the wildness of JP and the weirdness of my friends here. You are safe but truly, life feels like a ghost town when there was once promise and prosperity. I had a prospect of a new job all lined up...up in smoke now. 2020 was going to be a big year of change. Well, it HAS been a year of BIG change. Just not the kind of change we wanted, even though there is still time. So, no Bar Wars, no JPMF, no fun. None. Stay at home. For me there has been some fun in that and for many others, it has most certainly not been. Domestic abuse calls gone through the roof, Zoom hacking, conference calls, internet, internet, internet!!....God. Some people aren't safe in their own homes while most of us bake banana bread. 

These days go by very quickly. Time goes by very quickly. All of this is happening very fastand yet we have to stay in this suspended pause. We look at ourselves now and hopefully are not broken but broken open. There is a calmness I try to search for and harness in the 'not knowing' of what is to come. None of us know. That means underneath it all, I guess we really are the same. 

I was invited to a friends BBQ on Tuesday after Memorial Day (which was a TOTAL downer) and it felt so strange to be at some other person's place with 9 other people spread out all over the yard. Burgers were good but I kept on thinking to myself..."What are we?".

My advise is get out there with your mask. It's not a political statement, it's a sign of respect. Even if you support the Orange Diaper Rash, I do this for you because I respect you and my neighbors. You call me names, call me "PC" - like that has any reference to anything these days! Call me brainwashed. You are a loud minority. Most of my friends and people I know all over the world are wearing one also. Now that the death toll in New Zealand stopped at 21, the far alt. right has been strangely quiet after Jacinda CLOSED New Zealand totally for a Month. A MONTH! That's all it took. These blow hard idiots over here HAVE to have something to complain about. Otherwise why are they here? I have limited sympathy for them in their loneliness of bigotry and hate.

OK. Time to heat up dinner. 

Hang in there, I really look forward to seeing you again.

One of my favorite gigs from New Zealand:

Day Rider - 2004

7/22

The Stove

Thank you.

Thanks to all who helped with the filming of 'Live at the Midway- a Rockumentary'. My friend Cher Devitt really came through in the clutch with the thankless job of collecting signatures for the release forms. It was brutal for her but she ate it up completely. Way to go Cher!! Arthur with his big hands HANDled the drum set and roadie responsibilities while Lars, Chris, Laurence worked the cameras. It was epic! Thank you to Vice V'ersatile for your presense, it is always adored! Or adorned...

Thank you to JP. You all came together for this and are so supportive. Even those that of you who said they weren't going to come, you managed to get there. Somehow. I really appreciate it. Next is the blues show. It always starts with the blues. Going to announce another gig coming up in the next few weeks to feature this. My feeling is that it's going to get easier as it moves along. Now that there's a flow to it, it moves along. I needed this escape from the torute of our nations politics. The death of Carl Kassell. THAT hurt. He would be so wonderful on 'Wait Wait' with that puncture headed dweeb in the office. Speaking of which...it is "Persistence Too" tonight. Songs written and made famous by women, a fundraiser event for the JP Music Festival held at our beloved Midway Cafe. Show starts at 8pm. I hope to see you there. This is a long overdue thank you note and I usually tend to write quickly and not proofread enough so there are others to thank for your help in this I know but also know that I will get around to thanking you all as soon as it drifts throgh my transom. 

Ok. I have to get to rehearsal. 

I'm filming a rockumentary on 3/25/18.

 People have a tendency to personalize their politics to the max.  I attended public school until through sixth grade. I was easily distracted as a kid with these schools. They all looked the same. Big, ugly buildings with huge concrete bricks would line the classrooms and hallways. Our education system has to change. It has to redirect the money into programs that are more reflective of our society's weaknesses and deficits so as to improve them on a more communal level and not just through big Government taking over the budgets and handing them over to - seemingly incompetent- heads of state or departments for a linear cure.  What these kids are doing now by protesting is not only necessary and appropriate but it is an example of our citiznes rallying for a common good. They are finally seeing the value of their own lives and potentially, election power. The risk of detention or any form of eduaction discipline by Principal or Dean is weightless when it is compared to that of standing up for the benefit of humans in general.  

The day is rapidly nearing when the cameras will be rolling at the Midway for the rockumentary. Breaking up the project into little projects is the norm. I am back at school. This is a new experience in relating to creativity. How much do I actually know and am I willing to see that limitation and focus on it? See you at the Midway on 3/25 at 3:30pm.

0213r0ck

It's so frustrating. 

People I know are struggling way more than I am. Upon my stepping out the door this morning, I had forgotten the cardinal rule. My sending out resumes on LinkedIn this morning caught me in a moment of mental unawareness. Nobody is the Bionic Man (google it). However, online, you HAVE to be. Beating youreself up isn't going to change what has been done. It's easy to get bogged down with your own baggage. I think it has been taken for granted that 'spellcheck' will do the work for us and therefore we don't have to work as hard. Truth is, it DOES matter. These things are taken seriously and perhaps the more we do it, the better we get at proofreading. I've decided that from now on, my typing is going to be ace. There will be no more rushed emails or texts. There is going to be a constant presense in my typing and wording. There will be no more faith in technology, only my own hands and technique will display my depth and accuracy. Hell with these robotic functions. They were programmed by humans, they are flawd like humans. 

 I haven't done my best when it comes to proofreading and delivering the goods. I mess up and make mistakes. Then - and sometimes only then- do I see how much better my best can actually be. Why do I feel so rushed all the time to make a change? It can't be done in the snap of a finger! You can decide at that moment but it is only when you are put to the test that you have to demonstrate what you've learned. People have always reached out to me with accurate emails, spelling, no typos or lazy fingers on the keyboard. THEY take their time and are present with their thoughts and that makes me strive to want to do better. Professionalism is about BEING present. It is about BEING where you are in that moment. It is about BEING. 

Embrace the shakedown. If you haven't learned your lesson by now then when will you? I'm 47 years old and I refuse to believe that I have learned everyhing I need to know. I am still on that dusty trail trying to kick some ass. When I land myself into that position, when it really DOES matter, you will see that this is for real.

Woah! Hang on here, did I mention I'm assembling a film crew?

  On March 25th from 4-8pm, I'm filming the 'Live at the Midway- A Rockumentary' show at our beloved, local, rock & roll dive, the Midway Cafe. In order for this event to go down as seamlessly as possible, I am looking to hire a small film crew that has a flare for artistry, a desire to want to contribute to the community and take part in a special, live music, cinematic event! 

Videographers of all ages and experience are invited to email a one minute film sequence to the contact page for Ransom Note Productions as an audition piece that demonstrates their talent, philosophy and creative element. 'Live at the Midway- a rockumentary' will be filmed to capture the grit, honesty, creativity and above all else...the excitement of what a Live Rock n' Roll documentary reveals. We're looking to capture close ups of fingers on the fretboard, mid-shots on the keyboard, drummers banging on the drums and full shots revealing the passion of belting out these fine musicians' songs in front of their home crowd. 

Though this film currently has no budget, the videographers will receive permanent, full credit for their contributions as cameramen to a significant, cinematic, artistic statement that will eventually make its way through the film festival circuit. 'Live at the Midway- a rockumentary' is produced by Billy Squire of Jamaica Plain. 

0213r0ck

1/29

You have to beak down one huge project into one hundred little ones. Sometimes there are just too many things to deal with. So, you look at them individually. Navigator Google GPS finally figures out how to get me there because I'll never know my way around this town (that is the intellectual hub of the country but was mapped out by cows...??) and I finally get there to find out that I let my payment slip at home, that it's cash only and there's no ATM around there and it's freezing outside, I just got out of Yoga and I haven't eaten and I'm starting to get a little frazzled. 

Get in the car a drive home. Start heating up some food on the stove and left the burner on too hot, took me 10 minutes to pay online and by the time I get back to the kitchen, the stove is nearly on fire. Bummed...

When I look at the documentary, I see one HUGE project that is a mosaic of moving parts and times and circumstances, schedules and whatever else you can think of.. sometimes people are cranky and get into quite a mood. There was some issue with the original recording of the sound and I was pressed for time so I had to bag it. Use the Camera mics. Shitty things. Got the ideas down but not all went to plan. The refrigerator was humming, the lighting was hard, the sound was hard, the other employees are wondering what the hell is going on while they're trying to earn their crust by pushing their brooms and clean the bathrooms and restock the bar. Poor Smilo. He's such a sweetie. 

To shoot and reshoot is par for the course, not that I GIVE A TOSS about Golf (and neither should you) so I'm not surprised that I have to go in there again. The thing is, is that I can't look at it as this huge thing! I have to look at it as a series of little things that get evened out and dealt with by working at them slowly. That's part of being a Capricorn. We sit and focus on that one thing and concentrate on it and take our time with it, work it out slowly, be patient with it, be quiet with it and listen to it, don't make any noise around it and eventually you begin to see it for what it really is. Something that is worth your time and investment or something to throw snowballs at that are caked with dog piss, not that there is any snow out there anyway. 

One interview at a time, one scene at a time, one sequence at a time one band at a time. I'm betting my life win this film and it's going to be great. This could go viral and really make a splash but I need to keep focussing on THE NOW. Little bites.  I haven't done anything yet today for the documentary but I have been paying the bills and getting my desk cleared up for tax season. 

Thank you Rick Berlin for my JPMF Hoodie! It's so damn comfortable and it feels so good to be officially part of the tribe as accepted by the elders. People actually KNOW what Ransom Note Productions is now! I was at the Nickel and Dime Band show and people were commenting to me about the quality of the videos they were seeing for the Bar Wars and the Festival. I think for the first time in my adult life, I feel like I am truly home and in a community that I can fully invest myself in with these fine people, doing what we do. One thing at a time, please.